Tuesday, October 2, 2007
whatever i used to have,i count it as lost now,
''fight for the sake of those you have lost,fight for the sake of protecting things you don't want to lose''
what was all that.
you all think it works that way?
protect,protect,protect
how about thinking of protecting your own feelings first?
i put other's interest at first.
i might not the only one.
im just not appreciated.
im always being used.
you received your help,had your fun, and then all of you are through with me?
and go find another person to repeat the process with?
forgive?
SHUT UP!!! JUST SHUT UP OK?!!
dont speak of forgiveness so easily.
losing something/someone important and you hold dear,
especially when its taken away.
any idea how irritating and painful it feels?
dont know? THEN SHUT YOUR GODDAMN TRAPS.
all of you people think its easy to forgive?
i'll kill or take away someone/something you hold dear.
and then i'll ask you to forgive me
and i wont make up for it.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
i think kelvin and jeremy tham should know what im talking about.
you people think i dont want to forgive?
any idea how have i been forcing myself to forget and forgive this incident?
all of you have no idea what kind of emotional state and pressure im facing right now ok?
all you people can do is to say "its ok,everything's gonna be fine" "im sure you are not the only on trying"
i know goddamn it,I KNOW
but you think its easy?whenever i think about it,
i cant help but to feel hatred.
the kind of feeling where you want to forgive,but you just cant not because you dont want to,
but you just cant?
does anyone of you understand or not?!
no you dont!
to be deprived from something you love so much,
something that you hold so dear
its just too cruel
but what do people say ''oh,its just the way of the world"
yes i know,but i just cant help it ok?
i feel betrayed and hurt lah ok?
say im like a girl.
go ahead
i dont give a FUCK
you know why?coz i cant be bothered with
pitiful people like you guys who only regret when you lost something.
im not gonna name people.
i know those words were meant to console me
but please know that
there are times where words of comfort doesnt matter anymore.
problems problems problem problems
they just keep coming
and you know whats the best thing?
when i need and expect that someone to be there for me at least as a friend,
the person just says 'i dont care about anything anymore'
fuck lah ok...
this world is already above deceit
i hate it,i have to be there when people need comfort
when im not wiling or unable,
i became the selfish monster
but when i need someone and they are not there,
what are they?
see?
humans damn disgusting right?
you only fight for their own interests.
maybe i should be like them too.
just be selfish.
::8:04 AM
